I’ve tried others to start my day, but nothing else quite works the same.

I’m a little curious as to why they used a gift card and didn’t just pay with their own card. Seems a hassle to add the extra step.

“Freeze!”

“No u”

pow pow pow pow pow pow

Joke’s on them, I’m still huffing Freon.

Green? Like RADIOACTIVE? Like three mile island? Fool me twice, don’t get fooled again!

“Brown people don’t have money HEH GOTTEM”

The agency warns that even then, there is no guarantee that individuals will be cleared to cross through the security checkpoint.

Bummer, that’s another $45 to re-check until they get it right. I’m guessing this will happen a lot.

Luigi is actually Sam Reich.

“I’ve been here the whole time.”

Exactly, see what things like rpkGroup (a particularly heinous example) are doing to colleges to get them running like for-profit businesses. “Restructuring” aka gutting the school and the purpose of a university, which is to give a rounded education.

Nah it’s cool my $5k DOGE check is totally in the mail.

Slop it up!

The market doesn’t give a shit about you or your company. The people who bet lots of money on your company’s success or failure give a shit about whether your company is a pile of rubble in x amount of time when they can cash out.

:3

Not especially hard, depending on your choice. But the choices tho

“Aw bummer, but we totally voted for it!”

— Every republican but that one from Louisiana

Straight from the horse’s mouth

Unfortunately an MRI won’t attract the crayons he’s eaten.

The church crowd collectively shitting themselves over what to leave for a tip at brunch