“She was advised that a missing-person report could not be taken until at least 24 hours had passed,” the attorney’s statement said.

I know everyone’s delighted that this guy may have taken himself out, but he’s still innocent until proven guilty. My issue is with the cop who answered the phone. Isn’t the “gotta be gone 24 hours” thing BS from movies?

Trump and his cronies should rename it the “Just Us” department.

Hurr durr.

Hmm, so: “That last monkey, however, remained on the loose as of 2 p.m” AND “Wildlife and Fisheries department to help find the remaining monkeys.”

I mean, it could be that other, non-COVID/non-herpetic/non-whatever monkeys were also in the truck, but…

Me, too. BUT, when we read an absolutely idiotic statement from NK, we had to ask, “Wait, did the translator get that right? Nobody is that stupid, right?”

This way cuts out the middle man. Yes, they absolutely are that stupid, no question.

This. Except his timing is off - he’s starting something with the smallest local government he knows he could beat, Venezuela. He’s sending the US Navy to “sink drug traffickers” - without proof of said crime - and warning that reprisals or protection of said ships will be an act of war. And of course, wartime presidents can have a third term. Except Congress declares war, not the president. And we have to let each and every one of those MFers know we’re watching them. Any state that wants to follow California and redraw to increase Democratic seats should do so, to reduce the possibility of war.

“First wave” of files Trump said didn’t exist. And the MAGA knights feel no disturbance in The Farce.

“President Donald Trump and Congress have invalidated the Clean Air Act waivers that were the basis for California’s actions,” said Adam Gustafson, acting assistant attorney general for the Justice Department’s environment and natural resources division. “CARB must respect the democratic process.”

Democratic process? Trump and the DOJ dictating the law? Right.

I’m allowed to be angry about two things, so I’m good.

I upvoted, but only to raise awareness of this important issue. /s

Exposing your junk while on school grounds gets you on a sex offender registry, yes? So… what’s happening with that?

Supreme Court: “One of us! One of us!”

I’ve seen a lot of these dumbass headlines recently, with double- and triple- and quadruple-negatives instead of clear, concise terms. They’re all like, “Appeals court rules against judge who declined to block restriction imposed by lower court on disabling injunction on tariffs…”.

Hint to newsies: If I have to diagram your damned headline to see if it’s “Yes” or “No”, rewrite it.

I would think that if an FBI director wanted a person dead, you’d be hearing about how he did it, rather than how he desired it.

Also, I once used seashells to write “69ME”, but nothing happened, to my disappointment.

I would think that if an FBI director wanted a person dead, you’d be hearing about how he did it, rather than how he desired it.

That will be the safest plane in the sky. Where else are foreign governments going to find an imbecile as easily manipulated as Trump? They must keep him safe.

On the other hand, I hope they installed a spy cam in the bathrooms. Trump on a changing table while his aides tend his diapers would be hilarious.

The article stated that there were three shooters, and only two gunshot wounds. I seem to recall from the early '70s that firing squads of five people or so always secretly loaded one weapon with blanks. That way the shooters could all convince themselves that they were the one who had the blank if their conscience bothered them. Maybe these guys did the same thing but with only three shooters…

Or:

“Here, put this in your mouth”

“Whyszit tafte so fummy?”

" It’s a rectal thermometer"

So that’s not stubble on any of them. It’s diaper face.

And it’s not available 24/7 online… why? I’d love to see the click counter on that bad boy.

Edit: I thought this was the other interview. Okay, make 'em both available. The ad revenue alone will be tremendous.