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Cake day: June 17th, 2023

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  • kshade@lemmy.worldtoTechnology@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    6 months ago

    I’m past 40 and while in my head I still consider myself progressive, I used to show it much more when I was younger. I was honest about my insecurities, I would try not to take up too much space as a man, would try to split responsibilities equally, and so on. At every turn this has caused me problems in relationships, not least with my wife of 10 years who left me for some muscular macho guy because she “doesn’t feel like I can take care of her”.

    It always seems to come down to traditional gender roles being dehumanizing. Men traditionally aren’t allowed to be “weak”, women traditionally aren’t allowed to be “strong” (but there’s been some work done on that). It took me a while to fully internalize (not just know) that, first and foremost, both are people with all the complexities that come with that. I personally would rather die alone than live every day in fear that I’m not pretending well enough to fit a stereotype. I’m probably over-dramatizing though, just really can’t stand stereotyping.







  • The article doesn’t really address the brand of revenge “feminism” I’ve seen on that sub and mostly frames it as women who want to become trad wives because it’s easy. What I’ve seen is that they basically want to find sugar daddies while also really, really hating men in general, especially the “low status” ones.

    How did they get to that point? I suspect it’s a variation of mean world syndrome, fueled by ideas like the poisonous M&M analogy (understood not as a call to be cautious but to treat every man as if they were bad) and seeing men and women as as coherent classes engaging in warfare. All watered down to simple talking points that fit in a punchy tweet. If men as a group do/don’t do this for me then it’s okay to be awful to any individual one because he’s the enemy too.

    Hateful, dehumanizing thinking. So yes, they do mirror the Andrew Tate dudes pretty much exactly, including being trans-exclusive.