motherfucker could’ve died of a ruptured appendix and they’d still probably claim Bill Gates remote-detonated a microchip in his bloodstream to do it

Obviously not. Too small a target.

…Yeah, this is fully just somebody’s blog and I can’t even view it without creating an account. Last time I saw something like this it was just a bunch of LLM-generated nonsense summaries of other news articles that clearly didn’t have an actual person double-checking their work.

I can’t, of course, confirm if that’s what this is, because I can’t view it without creating an account, but even that in itself isn’t very reassuring, credibility-wise.

Seems like everyone’s been getting that noise lately. I’m on my third.

Where on earth would you find a wall on a road with a fotorealistic continuation of the road printed on it?

Spoken like a man who has never relentlessly pursued a roadrunner, nor taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Thank christ.

Hey, he’s not wrong, I can think of a couple old fossils I’d like to see experience internal combustion if you know what I mean.

Are you kidding? I would absolutely hire this guy to be my gardener.

(I have recently planted a large crop of Dendrocnide moroides)

Well the cynic in me says “to undermine the public trust in the safety of air travel so people become more isolated, unwilling to organize, and dependent on either corporate-controlled media or gasoline-powered cars to maintain contact with any part of the world outside a 20-mile radius,” and the nutjob conspiracy theorist in me sure thinks he could make a convincing corkboard out of it if you gave him enough thumb tacks and red string, but once again I could be making the mistake of assuming they’re going into this with a plan and not just flailing wildly to make it look like they’re addressing a problem they have no idea how to solve.

“Djinn”, specifically, being the correct word choice. We’re way past fun-loving blue cartoon Robin Williams genies granting wishes, doing impressions of Jack Nicholson and getting into madcap hijinks. We’re back into fuckin’… shapeshifting cobras woven of fire and dust by the archdevil Iblis, hiding in caves and slithering out into the desert at night to tempt mortal men to sin. That mythologically-accurate shit.