He’s a master of 1-D tic-tac-toe.

Telling someone who doesn’t have a home to move is the most Trumpian thing he’s done in… like 3 days?

“I got winner.”

–Atari 2600, probably

I didn’t know Fort Stewart had a platoon of 12 year old boys who had been abandoned by their fathers.

Should have moved her to that new camp out in the Everglades.

I got my Freelance ID Card and it got me laid on the first night out at the club! This shit really works!

(p.s. don’t click on scam bait)

They’ll be finished in about 30 years.

The probability of Zaphod showing up in this comment thread is roughly equivalent to a sperm whale suddenly being called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

“I’m not a Nazi, but twenty bucks is twenty bucks.”

–Substack, probably

Every confession is a confession…

wait, let me start over.

Bitchplz

I gotta get off of this planet.

Where’s my towel?

Where’s my colander? I need to get to work and spread the good news about being touched by His Noodley Appendage! Pastafarians, get out there and preach the good word to your fellow federal employees!

Congress doesn’t have half a brain even if you mash them all together.

You should hack that into the image you posted.

You should hack a spell checker to find out how “Available” is spelled.

Say it with me, folks:

Every accusation is an admission.

Yes. Yes, they do.

What the hell happened to Josh Homme?

Technology doesn’t have problems. People have problems.